Posts made in July, 2017

What is Emotional Intellegence?

I’ll go ahead and admit this from the very start; I’m stressed out! For anyone that knows me, I’m a politics junkie.  I’m not necessarily drawn into the showmanship (e.g. TV) portion but the working to make things happen aspect of politics.

 

With our current President, I’m not able to take a break from the noise and my mood has been a bother…even to me. That’s not good so I’ve been doing some reading and I came across the concept of emotional intelligence.

 

Emotional intelligence can be defined as the ability to control and express our emotions in a healthy way, and to understand, interpret, and respond to the emotions of others in an appropriate way. Many people focus on their IQ or Intelligence Quotient, but psychological studies have shown that there is also a thing known as an Emotional Quotient (EQ), and that those with a high EQ tend to do well in both their careers and social situations.

 

Emotional intelligence (EI) was first explored in the 1930s in the US and by the 1990s had become a mainstream concept used to help people with anger management and other issues monitor their own feelings and actions, and better grasp the effects of their emotions on other people. By also learning how to read the feelings and emotions of others, better communication could take place, and relationships improved.

 

The Four Aspects of Emotional Intelligence

 

Researchers have created a model of EI that is said to have four parts:

 

  1. Recognizing emotions
  2. Reasoning using emotions
  3. Understanding emotions
  4. Managing emotions

 

  1. Recognizing

 

The first step in understanding emotions is to recognize them, and be able to identify them accurately. This will often include tapping into one’s own inner truth to sort out anger, disappointment, embarrassment, and other emotions. These might all be expressed in the same way by a person lacking in EI, who might demonstrate anger in all of these instances.

 

It might also be a case of recognizing their own body language and the unconscious messages they are sending, and picking up on the non-verbal cues others are giving them, such as facial expression and body language. Standing too far away or too close to someone, for example, sends out certain messages they need to be able to read in themselves and others.

 

  1. Reasoning Using Emotions

 

Human beings are not robots. We make many decisions in relation to our emotions, though we might not realize it. We will often do things on the spur of the moment due to mood. However, reasoning means getting the emotions under control and using them to make logical decisions based on who the person is and the life they wish to lead. Emotions help us focus on what’s important to us and filter out what isn’t important.

 

  1. Understanding Emotions

 

We can usually identify emotions, but are not always able to interpret what they mean. For example, we can all spot anger in most cases, but need to get at the heart of why the anger has been triggered. However, not everyone who experiences anger shouts or throws things. Sometimes their reaction is a lot subtler, such as silence, sarcasm, or simply walking away.

 

Understanding emotions is also about not taking things personally. Is your boss really angry with you, or are they angry at the guy who cut him off in the parking lot?

 

  1. Managing Emotions

 

Managing emotions is an essential part of EI, with your expression of emotions appropriate to the situation and context. Shouting, screaming and throwing things might be appropriate when you are two, but not when you are an adult – and certainly not in the office in front of all your colleagues.

 

Those who are able to regulate their emotions and not get ruffled no matter how stressful things get, are seen to be a reliable person in control of their life. Those who fly off the handle at the least little thing are seen to be unreliable and out of control, and therefore someone who needs to be dealt with cautiously.

 

If you’ve been struggling, it’s time to learn more about your EI. Of course, I cannot fit everything into one single post so I will be writing more in the coming days.

 

Have you heard of EI? I would love to have a conversation so let’s get started in the comments…

 

 

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Book Review: I Take You: A Novel

I do a great deal of reading every day and I haven’t laughed out loud at a book this much…EVER!

 

This novel by author Eliza Kennedy and narrated by Julia Whelan is a bit more than 10 hours of gut-busting laughter from the antics of main character LilyWilder as she prepares for her wedding day to Will.

 

Lily, this beautiful, smart and sassy New Yorker has not been faithful to her fiancé since the beginning of their whirlwind romance. Lily’s family and friends add to your stomach getting a workout from the things they say – without stop!

 

This book would not work if Lily were simply a ball-busting trampYou see, Lily has pains of regret because she loves sex so much. The issue is that she loves Will as much or maybe even more.

 

I don’t want to give too much away but I Take You: A Novel was a really good journey into taking the normal lead up to a wedding and turning it on its head!

 

Read it on Audible.com or if you have a print disability, check it out with the National Library Service at DB81607.

 

Have you read this book already? I would love to hear your thoughts.

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United States of Reality Show Politics

The first six months of the Trump Administration, if judged by normal standards, have been a disappointment to say the least.  Whether it’s the President or his staff talking about healthcare policies that meet his campaign rhetoric or revamping the tax system so it can work for everyone or speaking of the civil rights of minorities  in this country, the Administration has been a dismle failure to this point.

 

Now if we judge the President and his Administration on reality show standards, by God he is head and tails above the rest!

 

The question is do we want a country run like a reality show or do we want an imperfect nation striving to be more perfect based on standards that have been tweaked well over 200 years.

 

I argue that while America can stand some change, we do not need to go to the lowest common denominator. If we stay on this reality show mantra of the current Administration, we will ultimately go the way of most of the people that “star” in these shows…forgotten and used up.

 

Our troubles, in my opinion, can all be traced to a single word called gerrymandering.

 

For those not aware of what this practice is, let me take directly from Dictionary.com which defines it as:

 

noun

U.S. Politics. the dividing of a state, county, etc., into election districts so as to give one political party a majority in many districts while concentrating the voting strength of the other party into as few districts as possible.

 

Both parties have been guilty of this but the Republican Party in various states have become experts at this over many years. I live in Texas and I can remember Tom Delay, who used to be the U.S. House of Representatives majority leader, working on this with full force within the State to great affect.  Republicans across our nation took that example and have replicated it in state after state.  The result of which is the coarsening of our politics to focus on wedge issues rather than issues that have the ability to lift the poorest among the citizenry.

 

While we focus on whether we support same sex marriage or not, or whether we support abortion or not, or whether we support the wall or not we miss opportunities to work on a tax system that is fair to each citizen, figuring out how to make healthcare affordable for all without throwing them to the wolves or even working with companies to have a living wage so basic needs can be met for all.

 

Until people start talking about that, including the President, Congress and the state legislatures, they will sound like the adults of Peanuts fame…always making noise but not saying an intelligible word.

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