I was asked recently, “If you could be in this present moment, look back through the span of time and talk to yourself, what would you say to you?”
My very first thought was, “Oh how simple and unreasoned this question is!”
Then I started thinking …
And thinking some more …
As I sat and deliberated the conversation I would have with the 14 year old me, I couldn’t decide whether I would say something profound from 30,000 feet up or if I would dare to travel step by step over the questions I had as the young, inexperienced kid.
Even as I sit here typing this very line of text, my awareness is all over the place debating the pros and cons of how to talk to myself through this time warp.
I frankly am just on this side of really not caring for the person who asked me this question but it was designed to get me, and others, to think outside the box! So, I guess I’ll keep writing… I’ve prolonged this enough to wrap my head around the enquiry.
Assuming that my 14 year old self would be able to see me today, I’m pretty sure I would have to explain being blind.
“What the hell,” the 14 year old me would say.
“Oh stop it! I know you’ve never seen a blind person before but just don’t freak out about us being blind. Frankly, I’m pretty surprised that you’re not panicking more about talking to your damn self 24 years in the future, but I digress.”
At this point, the 14 year old me would roll my eyes but wouldn’t dare talk back because I was raised better than that.
The me of today would say:
“Look kid, I’m not going to give you a run down of two decades worth of ‘stuff’ but what I will tell you is that you’re going to experience heartache, joy, love, hate, fear, courage, disappointment and your expectations being met. You’re going to run the gamut of emotions from feeling like you’ve let everyone down to feeling pretty damn good about yourself.”
The 14 year old me would say, “I kind of figured that. Life is not a bed of roses. You do know you right?”
Then it’s my turn to roll our eyes so far to the back of our head I get a little dizzy and almost fall over. Shut up … I’m older now and can’t do that the same anymore … especially after a nice glass of red wine! Okay, I’m getting off track …
“Okay kid, we turn out to be a pretty good guy. You still have a smart ass mouth, although no complaints here from our perspective. Seriously, everything you thought we knew about family, the world, disability, politics, work and every single thing else is going to be turned upside down.”
At this point in the conversation, the 14 year old me is quiet with a slight look of concern on our face.
I whisper to me, “I can’t tell you that we won’t be concerned. It’s not going to be easy many times but I know something that you don’t know yet.”
“What’s that …”
“Kid, you’re going to be just fine …”
The 14 year old me has a wisp of a smile as I turn back towards today … and I have that same exact smile of knowing that things really do turn out alright …